ST. LOUIS, Missouri. If you’re here, you’re probably facing the end of a marriage, or wondering whether your marriage is over. How do marriages end? Why do they end? While many couples cite infidelity, or growing apart as the reason why their marriages end, this is not the only reason why marriages fail.
According to Goop, marriages can fail because they start for the wrong reasons. People get married to avoid being lonely, because of family pressure, or because they want to have children. However, if you don’t have a good partnership with your significant other, your marriage can fail from the start. Expecting too much from your partner can also lead to problems. It is impossible for your partner to be your best friend, your therapist, cheerleader, work coach, and personal trainer all at once. It is important to have a community of people. If you don’t have 4 or 5 people you can call who also meet your needs, you might find yourself putting too much pressure on your marriage to meet those needs. If you’re considering getting divorced, ask yourself this. Do you have 4-5 other people: parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, workout mates with whom you feel you can be open and honest with? If not, before filing for divorce, consider working on your other relationships and then see where that takes your marriage. At best, it will bring you closer and bring you insight into what works about your marriage; at worst, you’ll realize that you truly need more from your marriage.
Besides marrying the wrong person, for the wrong reasons, or thinking that your partner can be all things to you—fighting, failing to communicate, and never apologizing are other surefire ways to lead to the end of a marriage.
Another reason why marriages end is financial friction. Unfortunately, many couples don’t discuss finances before they marry and those that do, may not take the time to honestly acknowledge differences in spending habits. These differences can be easily masked if you and your partner didn’t share a savings or checking account before you got married.
So, what happens if you have children and find yourself in a miserable marriage? Don’t stay together for the kids. Research has shown that children suffer more when their parents aren’t happy. And if you don’t have children and think a kid will make things better, stop right there. If you can’t work out your differences now, without a kid, adding a kid to the mix will only add conflict.
How do you know if divorce is on the horizon? According to Woman’s Day, if you’re spending all your time with friends or family, find that you don’t feel like you’re respected in the relationship, or find that you disagree about core values—like money, having children, or where to live—the marriage may be over. Infidelity in itself doesn’t have to end a marriage, but if your partner stays friends with former lovers, this can be damaging.
What can you do if you think that divorce may be on the horizon? Planning ahead is important. Consider speaking to a qualified divorce lawyer like the Behrens Law Firm, L.L.C. in St. Louis, Missouri. Our firm can review your case, help you plan ahead, and help you understand your rights and responsibilities. Visit us at https://www.barbarabehrensdivorceattorney.com/ to learn more. Don’t try to go it alone.
Behrens Law Firm, L.L.C.
75 West Lockwood Avenue
Webster Groves, MO 63119