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Family Law Services

The 5 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

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Are you in a declining marriage?

Have things changed since you first said, “I do”?

In the 80s, many people found themselves in the same predicament. The statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce became a common phrase.

Believe it or not though, since then the divorce rate has steadily decreased.

Even with the declining rates, divorce is still pretty common in the US. It is usually the result of a few different marital problems.

Are you considering filing for divorce? Do one of the 5 most common reasons for divorce apply to you? Read on to learn if it’s time to divorce.

5 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

Divorce is a result of problems in a marriage that just can’t be resolved. You may try to hold it together and sometimes that works, but sometimes reasons for divorce can’t be overcome.

1. Extra-Marital Affair

Cheating is one of the most common grounds for divorce. When one person has an intimate relationship outside of the marriage, the other party can’t always forgive and forget.

It is difficult to regain trust and confidence following an affair.

Infidelity is usually the result of some other deep-seated problems, so it isn’t always easy to work through.

2. Violence/Abuse

Physical and emotional abuse is a common and legal reason for divorce. If one spouse is being beaten or sexually abused or being harassed, threatened or humiliated, that is grounds for divorce.

3. Money Problems

Money is the root of all evil. That can be very true when it comes to marriage.

One spouse might have terrible spending habits making it impossible to reach the desired financial goals. One may make a lot more money than the other causing some resentment. One might keep secrets about expenditures.

The two of you may not have the same philosophy about spending and saving.

These and other financial difficulties put stress on a marriage often leading to divorce.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Being on different schedules, a demanding career, or your children’s activities can cause a lack of intimacy in your relationship.

It is the responsibility of both partners to be connected emotionally and physically to each other. When that breaks down, it can feel less like a marriage and more like a roommate situation.

If you and your spouse are feeling more like strangers, it is likely to lead to the end of the marriage.

5. Arguments/Disagreements

Sometimes couples have the same arguments over and over again. They can’t seem to find common ground.

Disagreements that never seem to be resolved, resentment and disrespect are like cancer to a marriage.

Nobody wants to live in a war zone. Dissolving the marriage is often the only answer.

Getting Divorced

Have you decided that getting a divorce is your only option? Maybe one of the common reasons for divorce pertains to you? If you are looking for some legal advice before you proceed, visit us. We can help you through this difficult process.

Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live with in a Custody Battle?

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Only 11% of custody cases were decided during mediation with as few as 5% being decided after court order custody evaluations. With such confusion, it’s important to know when can a child choose which parent to live with, and how is that decided. 

Read on to learn about navigating through a custody battle and your child’s choice. 

Historical Child Custody

Historically, when it came to divorce, Americans followed traditional English common law. This meant that fathers automatically received physical custody of the children along with and labor and earnings of his children.

In return for these rights, the father was responsible for providing support, care, education, and training to become adults. Today, mothers are entitled to the same rights as the father, and a number of factors are taken into consideration to determine who the children reside with. In some cases, the child’s preference of who they want to live with may also be taken into consideration.

Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?

While a child may not automatically get to choose whose custody they fall under, in many cases their preference will be taken into account. In most courts, the judge will try to avoid the involvement of the child as much as possible.

Child investigators may be involved if certain circumstances such as substance or physical abuse are called into question. However, in the event that both parents are equally entitled to custody, the choice may come down to the child, assuming the child falls under the right criteria.

Important Considerations

How much weight a child’s preference has depends largely on the criteria of the court. Some factors that may be taken into consideration by the court are:

  • What is the child’s reasoning for wanting to live with a specific parent?
  • How stable and consistent is the parent the child wishes to reside with?
  • How emotionally and intellectually mature is the child?
  • Does one or both parents support the child’s decision?
  • Is there any evidence that the child’s choice is the best option for the interest of the child?
  • How will the move affect the children’s relationship with other family? School? Community?

The Psychology Behind the Choice

While most parents will try to keep their children out of the decision-making process, there has been some research that has shown that allowing the child to choose is better psychologically for them.

While we all know divorce does play a major factor in children’s mental health, studies have shown that the negative effects of divorce can be reduced if the child has a say on where they choose to go. This is due to the fact that many of the negative feelings a child experiences during their parents’ divorce comes from feeling out of control or not having a say in such a drastic change.

Taking the Right Steps for Your Family

If you’re like most parents, your biggest priority is knowing that your children will be well cared for. This means it’s vital to know when can a child choose which parent to live with and how to prepare for it.

No matter what outcome you’re looking for, contact us today for help creating the best situation for you and your family. 

Top 5 Effective Tips for Winning a Child Custody Battle

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Are you going through a divorce and about to enter into a custody battle with your ex?

You’re not alone. Between 40% to 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is hard enough but when kids are in the picture, the stakes are even higher.

Read on to learn the top 5 tips for approaching and winning a child custody battle.

Try to Settle out of Court

If you don’t want to spend a fortune on lawyers and legal proceedings, settling out of court is the best option you have. This also saves your child from having to endure a longterm battle as hearings can drag out the process significantly.

If you and your ex can both agree to keep this out of court, you can hopefully settle through a mediation process which is less dramatic and less expensive. When you take a case to court, you run the risk of loss which can’t be undone.

You never know how a judge will sway so you’re better of using the mediator to negotiate terms before you end up with a ruling in the favor of your ex.

Hire an Attorney

Whether you settle or take your case to court, you’ll want to hire a professional. Custody cases are complex and the laws in each state vary. You need to hire a lawyer who can help you navigate this path smoothly while looking out for your best interest and the interest of your child.

With a lawyer, you’ll have the confidence and security you need to proceed and get what you want.

Fight for the Right Reasons

During a divorce, emotions are at an all-time high. Although it may be difficult, try to step outside yourself and ask if the reason you’re fighting for custody is really worth it.

You don’t want to fight just to get back at your ex. If you’re fighting for custody it should be because there’s a real reason you want to keep your child from spending more time with their other parent.

Winning may feel good at the moment but it could cause lasting damage to your child and your ongoing relationship with your former spouse could suffer.

Keep a Timeline

You’re going to be asked to recount a lot of what happened during the course of the end of your marriage.

The best way to be sure you don’t forget anything and raise all necessary points to your lawyer is to document everything and keep an ongoing timeline. This way you won’t fall victim to forgetting important issues when it comes time to face your ex or a judge.

Put the Kids First

You want your spouse, both of your lawyers and a potential judge to understand that you’re putting your children’s needs first. Any inkling that this battle is for you and your personal satisfaction will send the wrong signal and you’ll end up losing.

Make it clear that the reason you’re proceeding with this battle is for the sake of your children and that everything you’re asking for is to protect them and keep them safe.

Prepare for Your Child Custody Battle

While this is never a situation you wanted to find yourself in, a child custody battle should be approached with as much information and knowledge as possible.

Educate yourself on the laws in your state and find the right attorney to be by your side.

To learn more about our services, please contact us today.

How to Avoid Making Emotional Decisions During Divorce that Can Hurt You Financially

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LOUIS, Missouri. Divorce can be one of the most difficult and emotionally-challenging decisions any person can make. Divorce, however, is not just an emotional decision, but a financial one as well. The choices you make during your divorce can have a major effect on your personal finances for years to come. Unfortunately, when individuals make financial decisions while emotionally strained, the decisions they make might not always be in their best interests. So, what can you do to protect yourself from making financial decisions you’ll later regret?

[Read more…] about How to Avoid Making Emotional Decisions During Divorce that Can Hurt You Financially

Dividing Sentimental Property in a Divorce

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ST. LOUIS, Missouri. Russel Crowe’s divorce, like many celebrity divorces, came with its own provocative headlines. But these headlines weren’t the salacious kind. Instead, they involved an auction. According to the New York Times, Crowe decided to tackle his divorce with a Sotheby’s auction called “The Art of Divorce.” Though Crowe’s divorce had already been finalized, he explained that he held the auction to get rid of things he no longer wanted. Included in the auction was memorabilia from the Gladiator film, a codpiece, and a costume worn by Crowe in “Master and Commander.” He also sold guitars, watches, and other luxury items.

[Read more…] about Dividing Sentimental Property in a Divorce

Financial Infidelity and How It Impacts Divorce

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LOUIS, Missouri. We often hear about sexual infidelity in the context of divorce. One partner goes out, has a secret relationship or sexual encounter, the other partner finds out, and the marriage ends. Yet, we don’t often talk about or consider the impact that financial infidelity has on couples and on marriages. During financial infidelity, one partner in the relationship may open secret credit card accounts, gamble away money without the other person’s knowledge, or may spend the person’s money without their permission. Because couples often share accounts in marriage, it can be difficult to know the limits and boundaries. While a sexual infidelity might play a tangential role in the divorce settlement, a financial infidelity can play a large role when couples consider how they’ll divide debts and assets.

[Read more…] about Financial Infidelity and How It Impacts Divorce