ST. LOUIS, Missouri. Divorce can be challenging for both the couple splitting and for the children, but the good news is that with proper support, both adults and children can recover with time. According to Scientific American, research shows that while children may initially take the news of a divorce hard, many children recover rather quickly thereafter. The researchers also studied the children of divorce and the children who lived in homes with high “parental conflict.” The researchers found that the majority of children who survived divorce were doing well within a couple of years, while the children who lived in high-conflict homes suffered more adjustment issues. So, what’s the takeaway? If you and your partner are not getting along and are considering divorce—don’t stay together for the kids—it can harm them more in the long run.
How long do children take to adjust to a parent’s divorce? In the studies reported on by Scientific American, most children had recovered from the negative effects of divorce within two years of their parent’s split. Yet, everyone experiences and processes grief at their own pace. How quickly your children will adjust depends on many factors, like how shocking was the divorce (were you fighting all the time or did the news come “out of the blue”), how resilient your children are, and the kind of support they receive. It might be a good idea to get counseling for your children, either for the child alone or as a family to help your child process the divorce.
According to Psychology Today, healing from grief requires support. Pushing negative emotions away on makes them harder to process and they can resurface in more destructive ways. Instead, give your children space to discuss their fears, their anger, and their grief with you. Prepare for them to be angry with you, at times. It is important that you try to avoid badmouthing your ex to your children. This has found to be incredibly emotionally damaging because the children internalize what you say as if you were saying this about them. If you find that you cannot speak to your children about the divorce without your emotions getting in the way, it can be helpful to find a family counselor to help you navigate these challenging emotions.
Finally, when it comes to divorce, it helps to be prepared and it helps to have help. Seek the counsel of a qualified divorce lawyer in St. Louis, Missouri like the Behrens Law Firm, L.L.C. Questions of child custody and child support can be incredibly difficult to answer. They involve your family life and can impact you and your children for years to come. Furthermore, once your child custody plan has been approved by the courts, it can be very difficult to change them. It is important to get your divorce right the first time. The Behrens Law Firm, L.L.C. is a family lawyer in St. Louis, Missouri who may be able to help.
Behrens Law Firm, L.L.C.
75 West Lockwood Avenue
Webster Groves, MO 63119