Untying the Knot
by Joel Fram and Sandra Salmans
Love the quest;
marriage the conquest;
divorce the inquest.
-Helen Rowland, American journalist
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor, American actress.
Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams, American comedian
What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
-Ellen Burstyn, American actress
I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.
-Bette Davis, American actress
A system could not well have been devised more studiously hostile to human happiness than marriage.
-Percy Byshe Shelley, British poet
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
-Jack Benny, American comedian
It’s like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!
-Merril Markoe, American author
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
-Helen Rowland , American journalist
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
-Karl Bowman, American doctor
Whenever I date a guy I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-Rita Rudner, American comedian
It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.
-Herb Caen, American journalist
Don’t think that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost-she may have got him.
Divorces are made in heaven.
-Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright/author
You can’t stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
-Mike Tyson, American boxer
American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.
-W. Somerset Maugham, British author
We sleep in separate rooms. we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations-we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
-Rodney Dangerfield, American comedian